As a Taiwanese woman, who marry to an American and with two children together, life can be complicated for me. Living in a foreign country for almost 12 years, I still feel like an outsider, and the only things can actually tide me with this land are my jobs and art career. Working at local schools as an art/music teacher (official title : Violent Prevention Specialist, very interesting name, right? I guess my directors thought my art can change or prevent some wild or adnormal behaviors of those kids), I have faced some issues of how to dicipline those trouble kids. I always feel so blessing that I have so many great teachers who had encouraged to discover my strengths and abilities in the area which my own family didn't even care. I have tried my best to help those who can be benefited with some encouragement from people like me.
However, I find out I am not the angel, and I am just a human. I have made this impossible missions effected my normal judgement, which did depress me in a way that there is no word to describe. I guess the only thing I can offer is help those whom want to be helped. Well, I guess I must feel blue again today, and I am so looking foward to my next week break from work, so I can spend the whole week in my studio painting. I told my daughter that I wish my new agent in Taipei, Hanphy, will help me expand my art career, so I can move closer to be a full-time painter, which is always my dream since I was a little kid. But my daugher, Christine, told me that I will have to spend all my time at home painting, and not assoicating with the society, which can be boring. Well, nothing is perfect, and I guess when I get out of this blue mood, I might feel better again for my current life. Cannot wait for my one month trip in Taiwan during the summer. It will be very hot, but it will be so worthy. I miss my own country so much, and the food, people, everything!
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